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It's Not What You Say
(It's How You Say It)

The exact same sentence can sound warm or cold, confident or condescending, calm or rushed. The words never change, but the tone does. Patients (and everyone else) decide how they feel about what we're saying, based more on how we sound than what we say. This upSKILL shares the science behind tone and a few small ways to put your tone to work on purpose, so what you mean and what people hear match.
   8:38 Watch Time [Week 11 from the Weekly upSKILL series]
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 Real Help 

Solve these 'people problems'

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For upSKILLers:

  • Sounding rushed, dismissive, or annoyed with patients without realizing it (even when your words are completely professional and polite)  
  • Using uptalk or a flat monotone subconsciously (it makes you sound unsure or less capable)
  • Patients who feel rushed or unsettled by your pace, even when your words are reassuring
  • Sounding confident and warm on purpose, not just saying the right words
  • Knowing the difference between a tone that feels sincere vs. flat or scripted
  • Bringing that same intentional tone to teammates and people in your personal life too

For Leaders:

  • Team members who use all the right words but still come across as cold, rushed, or condescending 
  • Inconsistent tone across the team that makes some interactions feel warm, and others feel transactional
  • Team members who let a stressful day dictate their tone instead of setting it on purpose
  • Coaching team members to sound confident and caring on purpose, not just recite a script
  • Helping team members recognize the difference between a rushed tone and one that builds real trust
  • Setting the standard for a consistent, positive tone across the practice, regardless of who answers the phone 
 Data 

It's science

Mehrabian's classic communication research found that when someone's words and their tone don't match, listeners lean heavily on tone, especially when it comes to feelings and attitudes.(1)
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That means patients aren't just processing what we say; they're feeling how we say it.
Research on vocal pitch found that listeners judge a speaker's confidence and authority from subtle shifts in tone, often within seconds.(2)
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The way we sound can shape whether a patient trusts our expertise more than our words. 
Research on "uptalk," ending statements with a rising, question-like inflection, found that it makes speakers sound less confident and less capable to listeners, even when their words are completely certain.(3)
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A patient can hear total certainty in our training and still feel unsure, simply because of how the sentence rose at the end.
 Note 

From The Experts

"Our tone will work for or against us. Tone can not only change the meaning of our communication but also someone's ability to absorb and accept the information we are giving them."
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- Christine & Lauren, The Patient Whisperers
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 SERIES 

This is adapted from Weekly: Mastering Soft Skills

by The Patient Whisperers:
Soft skills that make work and life better.
For everyone who works with patients - or interacts with humans.

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Chu Vision Institute

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 WHO 

Meet the experts

The Patient Whisperers
Christine Scarlett
& Lauren Weaver
Former practice leaders leading change by bringing relational intelligence, soft skills + emotional connection into healthcare as authors, speakers, and upSKILL instructors. 
Get to know them here or connect on social media:
Christine Scarlett
Former CMO
& Director of Patient Experience
From counseling patients, to Director of Patient Experience, to CMO, Christine's worn nearly every 'hat' in a healthcare practice. The driving force? Her love for people... creating exceptional patient experiences and empowering those who serve them.
Lauren Weaver
Former
Director of Brand Development
Bringing her PR, branding, social media influencer status, and love of storytelling with her, Lauren turned how we market and build a brand for ourselves in healthcare upside down by redefining how we connect with our patients, both in practice and online.
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(1) Mehrabian, A. (1971). Silent Messages. Wadsworth. (2) Ko, S. J., Sadler, M. S., & Galinsky, A. D. (2015). "The Sound of Power: Conveying and Detecting Vocal Dominance via Voice Pitch." Psychological Science, 26(1), 3-14. (3) Linneman, T. J. (2013). "Gender in Jeopardy!: Real-World Consequences of Gender Bias." Journal of Language and Social Psychology, 32(4), 388-405.