MICROLEARNING LIBRARY  
📚

The 90-Second Rule
(Feel It First)

That flood of emotion, heat in your chest, or racing heart when something sets you off? It's a chemical reaction, and it fades in about 90 seconds, unless you cut it off ("What one resists, persists.") or keep feeding it (looping). This is a look at the 90-second rule: what it means for your own regulation, AND giving other people time as well. How to embrace the moment fully, then choose what's next.
   6:45 Watch Time [Week 76 from the Weekly upSKILL series]
This upSKILL is members-only content. See Memberships or if you are a member, make sure you're logged in to access.
 Real Help 

Solve these 'people problems'

Empty space, drag to resize

For upSKILLers:

  • Letting one tense moment with a patient, teammate, or family member spiral into a rough day
  • Jumping straight into "fix it" mode with an upset patient or person before they've had a chance to actually feel what they're feeling
  • Replaying an awkward or tense interaction over and over, which keeps the frustration or embarrassment alive far longer than it needs to be
  • Knowing that a triggered feeling is temporary chemistry, so it's easier to reset and move forward
  • Giving yourself permission to actually feel something instead of forcing positivity before your body can move on
  • Bringing that same patience to teammates, friends, and family when they're the ones who are triggered, not just patients

For Leaders:

  • Team members jumping to defend, explain, or fix things the moment a patient gets upset, before the patient has had room to vent
  • Team members carrying a rough interaction with them for the rest of the day instead of resetting and moving on
  • Coaching team members on a quick, science-backed way to reset after a hard interaction so it doesn't bleed into the next one
  • Helping team members give upset patients a few seconds to feel heard before jumping into problem-solving
  • Building a calmer, steadier team culture where one hard moment doesn't define the whole day
 Data 

It's science

Neuroanatomist Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor documented that an emotion's physical and chemical response typically clears from the body in about 90 seconds unless we keep re-triggering it with our thoughts.(1)
Empty space, drag to resize
That rush of heat, tight chest, or racing heart is chemistry passing through, and you get to decide what happens after.
Replaying a distressing moment and dwelling on how it made you feel measurably lengthens how long a bad mood lasts, compared to simply letting it pass.(2)
Empty space, drag to resize
Reliving the argument or the sharp comment in your head is often what keeps you stuck, not the moment itself.
Trying to suppress an emotional response doesn't necessarily make the emotion disappear. In experimental research, people who suppressed their emotional expression still experienced the emotion internally and showed increased physiological activation.(3)
Empty space, drag to resize
Trying to shove a feeling down may quiet what is visible, but that doesn't mean the body has finished experiencing it. "What one resists, persists." 
 Note 

From The Experts

"It's so empowering because it means we get to let ourselves feel, and then we get to move on. The emotion doesn't control us. It can't spiral our day or our mood - unless we let it."
Empty space, drag to resize
- Christine & Lauren, The Patient Whisperers
 TIPS 

How To
Use This

YOU

Watch Anytime

Bite-sized upSKILLs by topic so you can find guidance any time you need it.
TEAM

Share The Link

If you have a TEAMS membership, just share this link with your team to watch it on their own. 
TEAM HUDDLE

Watch & Discuss

Our favorite: play this video on a TV or big screen in your next team huddle, then talk through it as a group!
 HELP 

Can't find what you're looking for?
We probably have an upSKILL for that. 

Find exactly what you need: browse or search the topic library

 SERIES 

This is adapted from Weekly: Mastering Soft Skills

by The Patient Whisperers:
Soft skills that make work and life better.
For everyone who works with patients - or interacts with humans.

8 minutes each week

quick bites, by The Patient Whisperers.

Soft skills are people skills

Feel empowered (or empower your team) to
connect with anyone  
feel confident in any situation  
stay centered in difficult encounters  

See a weekly session (6:08) + Q&A!
Pause + zoom for a closer look.

Write your awesome label here.

Feels like social media

No boring training modules: It feels like an inspiring scroll that you + your team will actually enjoy.

Knowledge + Use

 The WHY: Science & Psychology
 Real scenarios
 Step-by-step actions
 Example scripts
See how easy it is to upSKILL your team.
 real talk 

Why is your team's membership important to you?

Ralph Chu, MD
CEO & Chief Medical Officer
Chu Vision Institute

 TEAM Membership
Write your awesome label here.
 WHO 

Meet the experts

The Patient Whisperers
Christine Scarlett
& Lauren Weaver
Former practice leaders leading change by bringing relational intelligence, soft skills + emotional connection into healthcare as authors, speakers, and upSKILL instructors. 
Get to know them here or connect on social media:
Christine Scarlett
Former CMO
& Director of Patient Experience
From counseling patients, to Director of Patient Experience, to CMO, Christine's worn nearly every 'hat' in a healthcare practice. The driving force? Her love for people... creating exceptional patient experiences and empowering those who serve them.
Lauren Weaver
Former
Director of Brand Development
Bringing her PR, branding, social media influencer status, and love of storytelling with her, Lauren turned how we market and build a brand for ourselves in healthcare upside down by redefining how we connect with our patients, both in practice and online.
 JOIN THE COMMUNITY 

Become a team who upSKILLs.

Memberships built to make your life easier: for Leadership or Teams.

 what's next 

Curious? If you have questions, we've got you.

See if upSKILLery is the tool that will make your life easier.
Take one easy step: which feels best?

Get Inside

Test the format, sample the content, get a feel for the user experience.

Take a Tour

Let us show you around with a quick walk through upSKILLery.

Talk to an Expert

Get a FREE custom recommendation for you & your practice goals!
(1) Bolte Taylor, J. (2006). My Stroke of Insight: A Brain Scientist's Personal Journey. Viking. (2) Nolen-Hoeksema, S., Morrow, J., & Fredrickson, B. L. (1993). "Response Styles and the Duration of Episodes of Depressed Mood." Journal of Abnormal Psychology, 102(1), 20-28. (3) Gross, J. J., & Levenson, R. W. (1993). Emotional Suppression: Physiology, Self-Report, and Expressive Behavior. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 64(6), 970–986. DOI: 10.1037/0022-3514.64.6.970.