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Reflective Listening
(Empathy in Action)

It doesn't matter if you are a great listener if the person speaking doesn't feel like you are. Reflective listening closes that gap: you are truly hearing them, and they feel seen, understood, and validated. Reflective listening is called "empathy in action." This upSKILL covers what it takes to make your listening something people can actually feel.
   6:03 Watch Time [Week 18 from the Weekly upSKILL series]
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 Real Help 

Solve these 'people problems'

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For upSKILLers:

  • Patients not feeling heard even when you're genuinely paying attention, because they can't see what's happening in your head  
  • Patients talking in circles, repeating the same concern because they don't feel understood yet
  • Patients not absorbing instructions or education because they haven't felt heard first
  • Knowing the difference between listening quietly and listening in a way that's actually felt
  • Patients feeling less likely to find fault or complain, even when something goes wrong
  • Bringing that same visible listening to teammates, friends, and family too

For Leaders:

  • Team members who are genuinely caring but come across as distracted or checked out because their listening isn't visible 
  • Patients repeating the same complaint or question over and over because no one has reflected it back to show they were heard
  • Patients not retaining instructions or education because they weren't emotionally settled enough to absorb it in the moment 
  • Coaching team members on simple, visible listening habits like eye contact, nodding, and reflecting back what they hear
  • Building patient trust that makes people less likely to find fault or file complaints, even when something goes wrong 
  • Setting the standard for a team where every interaction makes patients feel truly heard 
 Data 

It's science

Patients spend an average of just 11 seconds sharing their concern before being interrupted, and in over a third of visits, they're cut off before finishing their opening statement at all.(1)
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When we cut in fast, patients never get the chance to feel heard, which is exactly the gap reflective listening is built to close.
Primary care physicians who were never sued communicated differently than those who were. They used more facilitating comments, checked for understanding, and simply listened more.(2)
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Patients who feel heard are far less likely to find fault, even when something goes wrong.
Patients forget 40 to 80 percent of what we tell them almost immediately.(3)
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When we listen and reflect back first, patients settle enough to actually absorb what we say next.
 Note 

From The Experts

"Patients don't listen until they feel heard and understood. When we hear and then articulate either emotion or information back, they're then able to listen to what we need to say to them."
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- Christine & Lauren, The Patient Whisperers
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 SERIES 

This is adapted from Weekly: Mastering Soft Skills

by The Patient Whisperers:
Soft skills that make work and life better.
For everyone who works with patients - or interacts with humans.

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Soft skills are people skills

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stay centered in difficult encounters  

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Ralph Chu, MD
CEO & Chief Medical Officer
Chu Vision Institute

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 WHO 

Meet the experts

The Patient Whisperers
Christine Scarlett
& Lauren Weaver
Former practice leaders leading change by bringing relational intelligence, soft skills + emotional connection into healthcare as authors, speakers, and upSKILL instructors. 
Get to know them here or connect on social media:
Christine Scarlett
Former CMO
& Director of Patient Experience
From counseling patients, to Director of Patient Experience, to CMO, Christine's worn nearly every 'hat' in a healthcare practice. The driving force? Her love for people... creating exceptional patient experiences and empowering those who serve them.
Lauren Weaver
Former
Director of Brand Development
Bringing her PR, branding, social media influencer status, and love of storytelling with her, Lauren turned how we market and build a brand for ourselves in healthcare upside down by redefining how we connect with our patients, both in practice and online.
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(1) Marvel, M.K., Epstein, R.M., Flowers, K., & Beckman, H.B. (1999), "Soliciting the Patient's Agenda: Have We Improved?" JAMA, 281(3), 283-287. (2) Levinson, W., Roter, D.L., Mullooly, J.P., Dull, V.T., & Frankel, R.M. (1997), "Physician-Patient Communication: The Relationship with Malpractice Claims Among Primary Care Physicians and Surgeons," JAMA, 277(7), 553-559. (3) Kessels, R.P.C. (2003), "Patients' Memory for Medical Information," Journal of the Royal Society of Medicine, 96(5), 219-222.