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QTIP
(Quit Taking It Personally)

A patient snaps at you. Your spouse is short for no reason. A teammate overreacts to a simple idea. Instinct wants to react. The truth is, most of the time, it has nothing to do with you. QTIP, quit taking it personally, keeps you steady instead of defensive. This upSKILL covers a simple mantra for patients, teammates, and the people you love most.
   2:43 Watch Time [Week 61 from the Weekly upSKILL series]
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 Real Help 

Solve these 'people problems'

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For upSKILLers:

  • Taking a patient's short temper personally and carrying it into the next interaction
  • Assuming someone's frustration means they're upset with you specifically
  • Matching someone's negative energy without realizing you're doing it
  • Remembering that most people's reactions have nothing to do with you
  • Staying steady and objective instead of defensive with difficult patients or personalities
  • Bringing that same grace to teammates, friends, and family, not just patients

For Leaders:

  • Team members absorbing a patient's bad mood and letting it affect the rest of their day
  • Team members getting defensive or short with a patient who was never upset with them to begin with
  • Tension between team members escalating because someone took a comment personally
  • Coaching team members to recognize when a reaction is about the other person's day, not their performance
  • Helping the team stay emotionally steady and consistent, even during high stress moments
  • Building a culture where people extend grace instead of assuming the worst about each other
 Data 

It's science

We consistently overestimate how much someone's behavior reflects their personality, and underestimate how much it reflects their situation, a pattern researchers call the fundamental attribution error.(1)
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That snippy patient or short tempered teammate is very likely reacting to their circumstances, not to you.
Emotions spread between people automatically, often without either person realizing it, a phenomenon researchers call emotional contagion.(2)
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This is why someone else's stress or irritation can leave you feeling tense too, even when nothing was said directly to you.
Simply reframing the meaning of a stressful moment measurably lowers the emotional and physical stress response it creates.(3)
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Telling yourself "this isn't about me" is a form of that reframe, and it's often enough to keep you calm instead of reactive.
 Note 

From The Experts

"When we can remember this, it's a game changer. When we don't take things personally it allows us to seek first to understand, then be understood. It helps us maintain our own energy. It gives us the clarity to read the room, mirror and practice attentive listening because we're not defensive or reacting out of negative emotions."
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- Christine & Lauren, The Patient Whisperers
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 SERIES 

This is adapted from Weekly: Mastering Soft Skills

by The Patient Whisperers:
Soft skills that make work and life better.
For everyone who works with patients - or interacts with humans.

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quick bites, by The Patient Whisperers.

Soft skills are people skills

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feel confident in any situation  
stay centered in difficult encounters  

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Ralph Chu, MD
CEO & Chief Medical Officer
Chu Vision Institute

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 WHO 

Meet the experts

The Patient Whisperers
Christine Scarlett
& Lauren Weaver
Former practice leaders leading change by bringing relational intelligence, soft skills + emotional connection into healthcare as authors, speakers, and upSKILL instructors. 
Get to know them here or connect on social media:
Christine Scarlett
Former CMO
& Director of Patient Experience
From counseling patients, to Director of Patient Experience, to CMO, Christine's worn nearly every 'hat' in a healthcare practice. The driving force? Her love for people... creating exceptional patient experiences and empowering those who serve them.
Lauren Weaver
Former
Director of Brand Development
Bringing her PR, branding, social media influencer status, and love of storytelling with her, Lauren turned how we market and build a brand for ourselves in healthcare upside down by redefining how we connect with our patients, both in practice and online.
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(1) Ross, L. (1977). "The Intuitive Psychologist and His Shortcomings: Distortions in the Attribution Process." Advances in Experimental Social Psychology, 10, 173-220.; (2) Hatfield, E., Cacioppo, J. T., & Rapson, R. L. (1993). "Emotional Contagion." Current Directions in Psychological Science, 2(3), 96-100.; (3) Gross, J. J. (1998). "Antecedents and Effects of Emotional Regulation." Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 74(1), 224-237.