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Knowing Isn't Understanding (Find The Why)

Knowing facts about someone isn't the same as understanding them, and people can feel the difference. When we stop at "I know" instead of pushing through to "I understand," we miss the why and the connection that comes with it. This upSKILL walks through the difference and how to make sure you're connecting on a deeper level.
   5:41 Watch Time [Week 66 from the Weekly upSKILL series]
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 Real Help 

Solve these 'people problems'

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For upSKILLers:

  • Patients feeling like you know the facts of their situation but don't actually understand what they want or need
  • Giving instructions patients technically hear but don't follow because their brain didn't understand the why
  • Making patients feel like their emotions are dismissed without meaning to, even though you showed knowledge and expertise
  • Remembering that sharing the why turns instructions into something patients actually follow through on
  • Asking one real question to find out what's going on, instead of just knowing the facts
  • Feeling more connected to patients, teammates, and people in your personal life because you understand them, not just know things about them

For Leaders:

  • Team members stopping at what they know about a patient or teammate instead of understanding why
  • Patients not following through on instructions because the why behind them wasn't connected
  • Team members misreading someone's mood or behavior as a personality issue instead of a situational one
  • Coaching team members to share the why behind instructions so patients feel empowered to follow through
  • Helping team members ask better questions that uncover what's really going on with a patient or teammate
  • Building a team culture where people feel understood, not just managed or informed
 Data 

It's science

Research on how we explain other people's behavior shows that we tend to overestimate the role of their character or personality and underestimate what may be happening in their situation.(1)
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That's why it's so easy to misread someone before we understand what they're actually navigating.
Studies on perspective-taking show that deliberately considering another person's point of view can reduce biased judgments and help us see more of ourselves in the other person.(2)
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Asking the right question (and actually taking in the answer) can shift a patient from someone we're managing to someone we're understanding.
Research shows that effective patient-provider communication is strongly linked to patients following their treatment recommendations.(3)
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Good communication helps patients understand their condition and the benefits, risks, and reasoning behind treatment. No matter our part in the process, instead of just telling a patient what to do; we must help them understand why it matters.
 Note 

From The Experts

"The beautiful thing about understanding is that it simply means we are able to take in and absorb that other person's perspective, where they are coming from, and why. That allows us to truly see the other person, which ultimately always helps us navigate our relationship in a way that feels much better."
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- Christine & Lauren, The Patient Whisperers
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 SERIES 

This is adapted from Weekly: Mastering Soft Skills

by The Patient Whisperers:
Soft skills that make work and life better.
For everyone who works with patients - or interacts with humans.

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Soft skills are people skills

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connect with anyone  
feel confident in any situation  
stay centered in difficult encounters  

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Ralph Chu, MD
CEO & Chief Medical Officer
Chu Vision Institute

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 WHO 

Meet the experts

The Patient Whisperers
Christine Scarlett
& Lauren Weaver
Former practice leaders leading change by bringing relational intelligence, soft skills + emotional connection into healthcare as authors, speakers, and upSKILL instructors. 
Get to know them here or connect on social media:
Christine Scarlett
Former CMO
& Director of Patient Experience
From counseling patients, to Director of Patient Experience, to CMO, Christine's worn nearly every 'hat' in a healthcare practice. The driving force? Her love for people... creating exceptional patient experiences and empowering those who serve them.
Lauren Weaver
Former
Director of Brand Development
Bringing her PR, branding, social media influencer status, and love of storytelling with her, Lauren turned how we market and build a brand for ourselves in healthcare upside down by redefining how we connect with our patients, both in practice and online.
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(1) Ross, L. (1977). The Intuitive Psychologist and His Shortcomings: Distortions in the Attribution Process. Advances in Experimental Social Psychology, 10, 173–220. (2) Galinsky, A. D., & Moskowitz, G. B. (2000). Perspective-Taking: Decreasing Stereotype Expression, Stereotype Accessibility, and In-Group Favoritism. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 78(4), 708–724. (3) Haskard Zolnierek, K. B., & DiMatteo, M. R. (2009). Physician Communication and Patient Adherence to Treatment: A Meta-analysis. Medical Care, 47(8), 826–834. DOI: 10.1097/MLR.0b013e31819a5acc.