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Difficult Feedback | 4 of 5
(The People-Person Personality)

Skip straight to the problem with your People-Person, and they shut down, get defensive, or hear rejection instead of feedback. You can lead with warmth, keep things collaborative, and still say the hard thing. This upSKILL covers how to deliver difficult feedback to our yellow, the People-Person.
   6:37 Watch Time [Week 78 from the Weekly upSKILL series]
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 Real Help 

Solve these 'people problems'

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For upSKILLers:

  • Avoiding a hard conversation because you're not sure how the other person will react
  • Softening feedback so much that the actual message gets lost
  • Giving everyone the same delivery regardless of how they'll receive it
  • Feeling confident going into a difficult conversation instead of dreading it
  • Remembering that clear feedback is a form of respect, not an attack
  • Using the same equation to feel confident with a teammate or someone in your personal life

For Leaders:

  • Team members who avoid feedback altogether to sidestep an uncomfortable moment
  • Feedback that gets so softened the real message never lands
  • Difficult conversations feeling like an attack to patients
  • Coaching team members to use one simple equation for every difficult conversation
  • Building a culture where clear feedback is understood as care, not criticism
  • Helping team members feel confident having hard conversations with patients and each other
 Data 

It's science

Research on human motivation identifies relatedness (the need to feel connected to and cared for by others) as a basic psychological need.(1)
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For a People-Person, that sense of connection matters. Reinforcing “I value you and our relationship” can create a stronger foundation for what you have to say next. 
Relationship research shows that feeling understood, valued, and cared for by another person is central to creating intimacy and closeness.(2)
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For a People-Person, knowing “you get me, you value me, and you care about me” can make the relationship strong enough to hold space for difficult conversations. 
Research on influence shows that we're more open to saying yes to people we like, and genuine praise is one of the things that can strengthen that liking.(3)
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Leading with value and appreciation isn't just kindness; with a People-Person, the relationship can influence how receptive they are to what we have to say.
 Note 

From The Experts

"Remember our big goal in these conversations: clear is kind. We can't be clear with the people in our lives without some difficult conversations. This clear communication allows the other person the chance to change, meet us in the middle, share their own side, or even change our minds."
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- Christine & Lauren, The Patient Whisperers
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 SERIES 

This is adapted from Weekly: Mastering Soft Skills

by The Patient Whisperers:
Soft skills that make work and life better.
For everyone who works with patients - or interacts with humans.

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Soft skills are people skills

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stay centered in difficult encounters  

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Ralph Chu, MD
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Chu Vision Institute

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 WHO 

Meet the experts

The Patient Whisperers
Christine Scarlett
& Lauren Weaver
Former practice leaders leading change by bringing relational intelligence, soft skills + emotional connection into healthcare as authors, speakers, and upSKILL instructors. 
Get to know them here or connect on social media:
Christine Scarlett
Former CMO
& Director of Patient Experience
From counseling patients, to Director of Patient Experience, to CMO, Christine's worn nearly every 'hat' in a healthcare practice. The driving force? Her love for people... creating exceptional patient experiences and empowering those who serve them.
Lauren Weaver
Former
Director of Brand Development
Bringing her PR, branding, social media influencer status, and love of storytelling with her, Lauren turned how we market and build a brand for ourselves in healthcare upside down by redefining how we connect with our patients, both in practice and online.
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(1) Deci, E. L., & Ryan, R. M. (2000). The “What” and “Why” of Goal Pursuits: Human Needs and the Self-Determination of Behavior. Psychological Inquiry, 11(4), 227–268. DOI: 10.1207/S15327965PLI1104_01.(2) Reis, H. T., Clark, M. S., & Holmes, J. G. (2004). Perceived Partner Responsiveness as an Organizing Construct in the Study of Intimacy and Closeness. In D. J. Mashek & A. P. Aron (Eds.), Handbook of Closeness and Intimacy. Lawrence Erlbaum Associates. (3) Cialdini, R. B. Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion. Liking principle.